I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Randomize
