HIV tests are more positive than that guy
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
How external is "for external use only"?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
