i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
