I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
