would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
