what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
