So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
