You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
