Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
