the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
