talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
