in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
