I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
