we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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