She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
