help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
