Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
