Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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