watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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