i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
You ate ashes out of my bong
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
