chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
It was like giving head to a cactus.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
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