It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
