Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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