Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
