the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
