He had one of those small greek statue penises
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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