Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
