I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
