don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Randomize
