I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
