Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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