allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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