I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i dont even know how to be here
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
