"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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