And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
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