just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
