i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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