god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Randomize
