Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
