you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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