Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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