who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
