I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
