I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
