Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
