Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
