Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
