y did u give ur computer a hand job?
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
