I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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