you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
