he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
