Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
