Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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