and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
