Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
